Just keep swimming.

“Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.

Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.

There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.

When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher.

Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too.

Don’t stress over things you can’t change.

Live simply.

Love generously.

Speak truthfully.

Work diligently.

And even if you fall short, keep going.

Keep growing.”

Clean & Serene

Every time I see that phrase, it strikes me as kind of ironic. I mean, of course I’m “Clean”. My life has been built around staying that way for many years. But “Serene”? Um, well…

One of the Promises goes like this: “…we will comprehend the word serenity…” In my early sobriety, I kept a dictionary close by, in order to be sure of what words meant. My comprehension of the word serenity went as far as the definition of Webster’s. I adjusted the promise, for my own truthfulness and entertainment, to “we will know how to spell the word serenity.” THAT promise has come true, for certain. As far as deep-down knowing of serenity, it’s been fleeting at best.

The natural disasters going on all over the world, just this month, are enough to put even the most laid-back person on edge. Just today hurricane Irma wiped a few islands off of the map, and is making her way up the length of Florida. Hurricane Jose looks to be revving up to follow her path. *Note: this post was originally written in 2017*

Ever since we moved from the Gulf Coast back to Indiana, 16 years ago, I’ve been wishing we could go back to Pensacola. Only in the last week or so has not being in Florida been good with me. I’m very grateful that I haven’t forced my self-will on our location, lately. I have to remember to keep God in charge, because the hard lessons of “getting my way” in the past have left deep scars that I don’t want to forget.

I am blessed greatly to work with people every day who are on one end or the other of their Recovery. The Old Timers are deep wells of wisdom, and the ones just making it to day #1, again, all have things to teach me.

Thank God, I am open and willing to learn. Today.

I am in a position to re-examine my views on mental illness, religion, spirituality, relationships, and the human spirit, on the daily, as I carry the message.

That being said, I haven’t felt like I had much to share, here, lately. I know some reading this will know just what I’m talking about.

So, here I am, in the place where writing my thoughts comes most easily…the laundromat. I hope that I can “pay it forward” to the world today, because He has been so good to me.

…and, now, 2+ years after the initial assembling of this post, life has indeed shown up, more harshly than I’d ever dreamed that it would. I know that, even still, I am deeply blessed.

Serene? Not so much.

Contented? As often as I can manage to keep myself grateful, and focus on God’s daily grace and mercy on me.

So, again, the choice is mine. Today I choose gratitude and grace toward my fellow travellers.

Are you hungry?

I find myself ever increasing, in being aware of an emptiness in my soul. My spirit has been touched by God, of course. I am a Christ-follower.

But, still, there is such a longing for more. More of Him. More of His Spirit. MORE. The Word says that we can have as much of the Holy Spirit as we WANT.

How much do you want?

This world has beauty, and it has joyous celebrations, and peaceful moments. The Bible talks about how we think we are healthy and happy, and have all that we need. In fact, we, without Jesus, are quite the opposite. We are lower than the beggars on the street, that we try not to see.

But…I know that there is more. I have personally experienced it. Then, I was led away, back to the familiar. Sure, it was my choice, but I went.

If you are a seeker of Truth, if this world does not fulfill the deepest desires of your heart…you know, when you’re lying in bed and you wonder “is this all there is?”, then I hope you will listen to this.

Ask Him to speak to your heart, a little louder. And then respond when you hear Him.

I plan to.

The Elephant in the Room

By  on 1-29-2018 in CBDWellness

I want to address what could be considered to be a conflict of interest, on my part. Being a person in long-term recovery, vs. being an affiliate for a product that is closely related to a substance (that many have abused, and one) that is still illegal in many places.

When people first started taliking about “medicinal marijuana”, saying that I was skeptical would be an understatement. Sure, I knew of the “benefits” of weed many years ago; things like relaxation, creative thinking, relief from anxiety (until the paranoia came into the picture), etc., but none of those were enticing enough to me that I would consider changing my sobriety date.

When Dad was at the end of his battle with cancer, some of his friends from the Rooms offered to go get him some pot to help with the agonizing symptoms. His response was “No, I want to be clean when I meet Jesus.”

That sort of situation, (and epilepsy) was about all that I knew of pot being used for legit medical reasons.

So, in recent years, the conversation about the merits of marijuana has become louder. I’ve been listening, too. As an addict, when I stopped using other addictive substances, weed was also on the BANNED list.

Now, fast forward to 2017ish.

Someone has figured out that humans and other animals have “Cannabinoid” receptors in our bodies (where the CBD was going for all this time is beyong me, but I bet it was in a dark place with a box of Little Debbies), that actually makes positive changes when taken care of.

I’m not talking about firing up a fattie or eating hash brownies or any of the other swell ways that humans ingest THC. What got my attention was when I began hearing about CBD.

I’m not in any way a specialist in scientific stuff, nor have I any particular interest in botanical theory. I mean, I don’t understand nor pretend to care about all of the particulars of why this, and not that, and how this is taken from the other, blah, blah, blah.

What matters to ME, in this case is as follows:

*CBD oil will NOT get you high. Period. In the vernacular of this region, it won’t make you “feel some kind of way”.

* CBD oil helps with numerous mental illnesses and many more physical ailments (think of any “old age” problems and it probably helps with that).

*CBD oil has no side-effects, save perhaps feeling a bit sleepy, and loosen your bowels some.

*CBD in this case is quality-controlled, processed safely AND within legal parameters of what good old Uncle Sam will permit.

*CBD is allowing me to reduce the amount of prescription medications that I take by 100% (as of 2018).

And lastly

*CBD oil can be a way for all types of people to lead a more healthy, productive, and ultimately happy life. Including their financial life. 😉

So, no, there’s no conflict of interest. I am delighted to have found a SUPPLEMENT that lessens the impact that my ills have on my daily life. I am even more blessed to know of a likely resource for the people I encounter on any given day.

CBD is legal. It is not the same as THC at ALL, and I thank God for it.

Moving on…

IMG_20140903_162922.jpg

My beautiful friend, Becca. Loves going for a ride.

Not necessarily forever, but for now.

I’ve come to a place where it seems like the time is right for a change. The kind of change that REQUIRES me to fling myself into leaning into God.

It’s a thing that I’ve tried before, in a different season of my life, when I wasn’t able to give it as much attention as is needed to succeed.

So, anyways, I’m working on a gig that I can do from home, on my own schedule.

I’m a representative for a CBD oil company, and the blog will be following my experiences with the CBD oil, as well as the business.

I’d be so happy if you were to check it out!

Hempworx/CBD OIL 4 Life

And for more info:

The complete tour

Forbes is saying that this industry is going to explode in the next few years, up to 700x where it is now.

I’d love to see you @ the new blog!!

http://www.cbdoil4life.wordpress.com

I’m looking forward to 2018 being the best one, YET! And of course, we know that

IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT! 😉

Int’l Overdose Awareness Day

As someone who has attended too many funerals due to overdose, I am asking you to share this image. How many people do YOU know that would give anything to hold their parent or child just One. More. Time? 

As long as we continue to share our stories and educate our world as to the truth about drug addiction, there will be hope. 

If you are one who’s had a loved one taken by addiction, please don’t stop speaking out. The less condemnation an addict feels from those who could instead be helping them to learn how to live again…the more likely that addict is going to be to actually ask for help. 

Outside of recovery – which is available as long as there is life – addicts only have three choices for their tomorrows: 

Jails

Institutions

Death.

Contempt and disgust haven’t worked to spare any addicts life, so let’s try love and compassionate action. What can it hurt? 

Why I hate judgemental people.

There is a person that I work with who recently made some remarks that I found to be really offensive, not to mention ignorant, about people who struggle with addictions. Things like “they must like it in jail! They get a bed, free food, internet, a gym…”

Like I said, ignorant. 

I’ve been mulling it over; how much it affects me when people look at (us) as low-life’s. I know people have had that sort of disdain for me for most of my life. 

So, I work alongside this person almost every shift. It’s been burning in my stomach for weeks. I am well aware of the dangers of harboring resentments, and I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how to get past this one. Yesterday I decided to just be extra nice to her, but when I said “Thank you, Jane!” She (following the script we’ve established, I guess) snapped back with a “you’re welcome” that was dripping with sarcasm. 

I guess I heard Someone whisper in my ear, something along the lines of ” what is it in ME that is so bothered by her?” Do I see in her a trait that I’ve been guilty of? Is this a case of “You spot it, you’ve got it?”

By the end of today’s shift, I had come to a conclusion on this.

The reason I have such a terribly difficult time with judgemental people, is that they cause ME to judge them. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, really. I see/hear them condescending or patronizing someone, and in my mind I go into immediate aggression mode.  I’m grateful to be able to make that connection. When I judge them, how am I any better than they?

I’ve torn this woman up in my mind so many times. I know there are several UGLY things that come to mind whenever I see her. 

I judge the SHIT out of her, and I want to stop! I don’t like the person that I become when forced to co-exist…
And I need to remember how it makers me feel. I will ask God to help me love her. I will try harder to see some good in her. I will not look at her because I know she’ll be watching me (another life-long trigger).  

I know that the degree to which I judge others, is how much I will be judged.

God help me!
Possted from my loft beside the mountains.