Once upon a time there was a leopard. He was crafty and handsome, and he loved the spots on his soft coat. They made him feel better about, well, everything.
One day, after many years of increasing troubles and pain, the leopard had a moment of clarity. “These spots of mine, as much as I’ve loved having them, have been the cause of so much heartache and grief. My wife hates them. My children hate them. They really haven’t been making me feel better for a very long time. I’ve got to change them!”
So, the leopard found a group of others like him and asked them, “What must I do to relieve this guilt and remorse?!” They told him of a place where he would learn to feel better without relying on his spots, and he realised that he didn’t want them anymore. He decided to change his spots by following a few suggestions and taking some steps. These steps lead into a place so wonderful that he could never have imagined it!! And so, the leopard with the changed spots, lived happily ever after, one day at a time.
Ok. So this is what I want to share with my work associate. She was talking about someone she loved, and his addictions. I said “It can be mighty hard for a leopard to change his spots.”
To which she replied, sadly and sincerely, “Leopards never change their spots.”
I know that there are many many good people who feel the same way about addicts and alcoholics. I don’t hold it against them. It doesn’t make them bad people; just uninformed.
Leopards may or may not be able to actually change their spots, in nature. But in MY case, I know a LOT of cats who have done it. And, now, I am occasionally blessed to help them do it.
It’s been a little over a year since I came by. I’m not sure what made me come back, today, but maybe it’s because a lot of things have happened in the last year or so, and writing might help me process them. Yeah, that’s probably it.
Last April 28th, my boy got married. It was a beautiful event and to say my heart was full would be a great inderstatement. Ben and Tisha were very much soul mates since they met. I have 2 Grandpups, Kujo and Penny. 😁
In June, my younger son, Elijah, graduated a year early, and in July he moved back to Indiana to stay with Ben and Tisha. She helped him get a job, and Ben helped him learn…whatever things an older brother teaches their younger sibling.
Then, 6 months later, on October 28th, Ben had a massive heart attack. On November 4th, 2018, my firstborn child died. He was 25.
I suppose I will be writing about this, and my continuing recovery journey.
I am SO not the person I once was. Sometimes I glimpse her when I pass a mirror, but not often. I feel…like a large part of me is dead.
Please don’t share your own sad stories in the comments. I have as much sorrow as I can bear. I am by nature an Empath, and I just can’t do it right now.
I would appreciate knowing that you stopped by. 💔
I want to address what could be considered to be a conflict of interest, on my part. Being a person in long-term recovery, vs. being an affiliate for a product that is closely related to a substance (that many have abused, and one) that is still illegal in many places.
When people first started taliking about “medicinal marijuana”, saying that I was skeptical would be an understatement. Sure, I knew of the “benefits” of weed many years ago; things like relaxation, creative thinking, relief from anxiety (until the paranoia came into the picture), etc., but none of those were enticing enough to me that I would consider changing my sobriety date.
When Dad was at the end of his battle with cancer, some of his friends from the Rooms offered to go get him some pot to help with the agonizing symptoms. His response was “No, I want to be clean when I meet Jesus.”
That sort of situation, (and epilepsy) was about all that I knew of pot being used for legit medical reasons.
So, in recent years, the conversation about the merits of marijuana has become louder. I’ve been listening, too. As an addict, when I stopped using other addictive substances, weed was also on the BANNED list.
Now, fast forward to 2017ish.
Someone has figured out that humans and other animals have “Cannabinoid” receptors in our bodies (where the CBD was going for all this time is beyong me, but I bet it was in a dark place with a box of Little Debbies), that actually makes positive changes when taken care of.
I’m not talking about firing up a fattie or eating hash brownies or any of the other swell ways that humans ingest THC. What got my attention was when I began hearing about CBD.
I’m not in any way a specialist in scientific stuff, nor have I any particular interest in botanical theory. I mean, I don’t understand nor pretend to care about all of the particulars of why this, and not that, and how this is taken from the other, blah, blah, blah.
What matters to ME, in this case is as follows:
*CBD oil will NOT get you high. Period. In the vernacular of this region, it won’t make you “feel some kind of way”.
* CBD oil helps with numerous mental illnesses and many more physical ailments (think of any “old age” problems and it probably helps with that).
*CBD oil has no side-effects, save perhaps feeling a bit sleepy, and loosen your bowels some.
*CBD in this case is quality-controlled, processed safely AND within legal parameters of what good old Uncle Sam will permit.
*CBD is allowing me to reduce the amount of prescription medications that I take by 100% (as of 2018).
*CBD oil can be a way for all types of people to lead a more healthy, productive, and ultimately happy life. Including their financial life. 😉
So, no, there’s no conflict of interest. I am delighted to have found a SUPPLEMENT that lessens the impact that my ills have on my daily life. I am even more blessed to know of a likely resource for the people I encounter on any given day.
CBD is legal. It is not the same as THC at ALL, and I thank God for it.
Not necessarily forever, but for now.
I’ve come to a place where it seems like the time is right for a change. The kind of change that REQUIRES me to fling myself into leaning into God.
It’s a thing that I’ve tried before, in a different season of my life, when I wasn’t able to give it as much attention as is needed to succeed.
So, anyways, I’m working on a gig that I can do from home, on my own schedule.
I’m a representative for a CBD oil company, and the blog will be following my experiences with the CBD oil, as well as the business.
I’d be so happy if you were to check it out!
And for more info:
Forbes is saying that this industry is going to explode in the next few years, up to 700x where it is now.
I’d love to see you @ the new blog!!
I’m looking forward to 2018 being the best one, YET! And of course, we know that
IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT! 😉
I’ve missed you so much!
I began a job several months ago, doing what I do 😉, and haven’t been here (primarily) because I have to be very careful about what I talk about.
I’ve been able to get to at least 2 meetings a week, and it’s been an unbelievable blessing. Left to my own devices, I don’t spend time with other people. After my current employment began, I was reminded of the things I had been missing by isolating.
Now, I get to use every gift God’s given me, each time I clock in. I expose my scars and bandage up client’s, every day. The Big Book says we “will not regret the past”, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be completely THERE, but there’s no question that it’s the painful experiences of my past which allow me to come alongside those “still suffering”.
They say that the Human Services field has among the top burn-out rates of any occupation. I can see that. With that in mind, I daily pour myself out in the name of (love) lifting up individuals that, to be honest, most people wouldn’t even want to talk to. I know that God has placed me where I am, and I am full of gratitude for being used by Him. I actually get paid to share my experience, strength and hope with men & women who have none of their own!
Is it always a cake walk? Oh, heck no. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been beat up, by the end of the day. I reckon that’s why they call it “work”.
I truly don’t have words to adequately describe how it feels to see the flicker of hope in their eyes, when they realise that they’re not alone, and that someone understands and cares.
So, that’s a synopsis of my last 6 months. How have you been?