Writing. Pencil to paper. Why?

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“Leopards‚Äč Never Change Their Spots”

Once upon a time there was a leopard. He was crafty and handsome, and he loved the spots on his soft coat. They made him feel better about, well, everything.

One day, after many years of increasing troubles and pain, the leopard had a moment of clarity. “These spots of mine, as much as I’ve loved having them, have been the cause of so much heartache and grief. My wife hates them. My children hate them. They really haven’t been making me feel better for a very long time. I’ve got to change them!”

So, the leopard found a group of others like him and asked them, “What must I do to relieve this guilt and remorse?!” They told him of a place where he would learn to feel better without relying on his spots, and he realised that he didn’t want them anymore. He decided to change his spots by following a few suggestions and taking some steps. These steps lead into a place so wonderful that he could never have imagined it!! And so, the leopard with the changed spots, lived happily ever after, one day at a time.
Ok. So this is what I want to share with my work associate. She was talking about someone she loved, and his addictions. I said “It can be mighty hard for a leopard to change his spots.”
To which she replied, sadly and sincerely, “Leopards never change their spots.”

I know that there are many many good people who feel the same way about addicts and alcoholics. I don’t hold it against them. It doesn’t make them bad people; just uninformed.

Leopards may or may not be able to actually change their spots, in nature. But in MY case, I know a LOT of cats who have done it. And, now, I am occasionally blessed to help them do it.

abbiegrrl

Hey. It’s me.

fb_img_1541271588353It’s been a little over a year since I came by. I’m not sure what made me come back, today, but maybe it’s because a lot of things have happened in the last year or so, and writing might help me process them. Yeah, that’s probably it.

Anyway.

Last April 28th, my boy got married. It was a beautiful event and to say my heart was full would be a great inderstatement. Ben and Tisha were very much soul mates since they met. I have 2 Grandpups, Kujo and Penny. ūüėĀ

In June, my younger son, Elijah, graduated a year early, and in July he moved back to Indiana to stay with Ben and Tisha. She helped him get a job, and Ben helped him learn…whatever things an older brother teaches their younger sibling.

Then, 6 months later, on October 28th,  Ben had a massive heart attack. On November 4th, 2018, my firstborn child died. He was 25.

I suppose I will be writing about this, and my continuing recovery journey.

I am SO not the person I once was. Sometimes I glimpse her when I pass a mirror, but not often. I feel…like a large part of me is dead.

Please don’t share your own sad stories in the comments. I have as much sorrow as I can bear. I am by nature an Empath, and I just can’t do it right now.

I would appreciate knowing that you stopped by. ūüíĒ