Depression sucks.

​It really does. It sucks the life out of you, in every way, if not treated. Here is a basic description of depression along with symptoms I found online: The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of emotional and physical conditions. These include inability to sleep or concentrate on tasks.

To expound on this definition, the above is as far as I got in writing this post. I’m not feeling bad now, but I long to be off the meds. I think I have less than a complete range of emotions now. (Eeyore sigh)

It’s beautiful out so I’m gonna focus on the good. 😁

 

Advertisements

25 responses to “Depression sucks.

  1. I’m curious…why do you feel like that?
    I take cipralex. I occasionally get the idea I should stop it, but I feel good now. Life is manageable and I often feel deep contentment.

    I’m afraid that I would lose that without medication as I was so deeply unhappy and trapped in the grey hopelessness.

    Anne

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m not sure which thing you’re referring to, so I’ll just say that I occasionally feel like my emotional response is very much lower than the other folks around me. As for the meds, I am WAY grateful for them and the lack of despondence in my day to day. I just wish I could maintain an even keel without requiring the assistance of a Pharmacist, a Dr, an insurance company, and a pharmaceutical company to help me. Feeling like all of the above are in control of my ability to function…chaps my butt.
      Thank God for the relief found in the correct mix of chemicals!

      Like

  2. That it is, beautiful outside. As you begin to emerse yourself in the beauty of the world around you, make sure you dont forget to take a drink from your beauty that lies within. The most beautiful thing God has ever created in your Abbie, was You! 🙂 Stay blessed, my friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I have not suffered from it myself but I have walked with my sweet daughter who has struggled since she was 15. It is so hard to find the good and the beauty when something inside you says all is ugly and bad.

    It is beautiful out and there are lovely things and I hope that one little thing catches your eye, touches your heart and gives you hope that tomorrow will be better.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I don’t miss my full range of emotions. Without the small dose of citolopram I take, life suddenly seems too brutal to withstand. It becomes heartbreaking, and I know that those feelings can be caused strictly by low serotonin levels. Though I have cut down to the smallest amount I can get away with, I still function better with it.
    I realize that doesn’t work for everyone, however.

    Sending you loving thoughts, Abbie. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Wendy!
      I am glad that I don’t cry (at commercials, for Pete’s sake!) as much. I know that for the most part, my emotional responses are appropriate, and I don’t often think about the marginal feelings that are out of reach, for now.
      I hope to have my Dr. help me wean off of them at some point, but not while my son is living at home. ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s really hard…I know how you are feeling and it so difficult to get yourself out of it. I’ve found that if I fully accept my depressive episodes, just know that it is an episode and it will end… and just continue my self-care they dissipate more quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can actually really understand where you are coming from here. I also take medication, and whilst I am so grateful that it helps me to cope, i do sometimes get a bit of a “numb” feeling, and wonder whether I am sacrificing the potential of overwhelmingly good feelings in order to manage the bad ones. I think there is also still a bit of a stigma attached to taking medication, and this can cause some pressure to see it as a temporary measure for some reason! Really honest post!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, PW! I’m glad to know that you understand. I’m grateful to know that it will pass, one way or another. Learning to let God be in charge and not self-will has made a huge difference.

      Like

  7. I’m sorry you “in it” Abbie. I know what that feels like. Although I think everyone is “in it” in different ways and I wouldn’t ever want to presume it feels the same. But, it sucks. It fucking sucks. Holding you in the light.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ugh. That longing for a full range of emotions is so real. And can be so tricky. When the drugs are working, it’s easy to forget how a full range of emotions also includes the black dog… it’s a constant weighing of which cocktail of emotions/lack of emotions is most bearable. Jacqueline @ moonmind.blog

    Like

Please share your thoughts! They matter!!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s