Who am I trying to please?

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I enjoy writing. Sharing my true thoughts can feel incredibly courageous. But more often than not, I measure my success or failure by other’s responses or lack thereof. Even though I know (intellectually) that I don’t have to measure my worth by whether or not anyone else values me or my contributions, it’s still so ingrained in me that it’s done before I know it.

Somewhere I heard an interesting thing about children of alcoholic/addicts. Those whose parents struggle(d) with an addiction look to others to see how they should feel. This resonates with me. Maybe that’s related to my lifelong people-watching habit.

I think it is.

Is that why I figure my worth by the reflection of myself that I see in your face?

I’m a writer. I love words. Heck, my son calls me Word Woman! As important as it is to me to put my thoughts down on paper, I wonder if I’d change it if there was no one reading other than me. But, really, for whom am I writing?

I’m probably not ever going to be a famous writer. I don’t know that that’s even a thing that I want. I want to make a difference in the world, and writing may or may not have anything to do with that. I trust that my God is leading me to find my way.

Following Him will be the answer to my Search for Significance.

What about you? Who are you writing for?

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7 responses to “Who am I trying to please?

  1. Abbie – Ours is to share our experiences for those who share or will be sharing in the future. If our faith is solid, pats on the back are unneeded; rather, we must lay down at night knowing we did the best we could as the mouth of the truths unseen in this life. I appreciate what you do and often use your insights with those I sponsor or just provide an open mind.

    Peace – Tim

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  2. I mostly started writing for myself. I am so much more articulate in writing compared to speaking. I was at a major crossroads in my life and I was tired of answer the same questions over and over. I also hope that by being honest in my writing I can maybe help someone else dealing with similar issues

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  3. Great post, Abbie, I write for the same same reason to take the experiences gained from going through my own personal nightmare and hopefully use them to help someone else from having to see so much of their own! Plus its the only way I have found to identify what is going on deep within my soul because my soul gets its voice when I write and thats why I am able to just put it all out there anytime because its not me so to speak. LOL just another crazy ass writer like yourself hell bent on changing the world I still suffering addict at a time. But, cool thing is Abbs? We’re fucking doing it Sister!! GO SoberPossee!! Love you sis.

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