…if an addict tries to replace their Program of Recovery (growth via spiritual principles) with ANY THING, they will lose both.
There’s a good reason that the Old-timers say “No major life changes in the first year.”
School, work, moving out of state/country, job, serious relationship…
If it’s God’s will for you, won’t it still be there when you’re actually ready for it? In my experience, my will is always going to be along the lines of INSTANT GRATIFICATION, while God’s will requires me to practice patience (and other spiritual principles).
Something to think about.
Posted from my castle in the clouds.
I totally agree !!! Last time I got sober I was 10 months in my recovery and I thought I was “fixed” , got into a relationship with an alcoholic and relapsed a month In. Learned my lesson.
Thanks for the comment! It can be a hard lesson! I’m glad you made it back! ☺
all true abbie.talking much sense,is this compensation for all the nonsese talking during the drinking years.lol.
Of course if you had asked me back then, I talked much good speaking. 😉
Good point. Vast life changes in the first year are destined to overwhelm and the word failure looms large thereby dropping one back into the abyss you’re trying to escape. In my world, things have to be chunked into realistic achievements. Break down the bigger picture if change into scheduled to reach toward. Do one small thing and then the next. Over time these begin to reinforce the real ambition which is one is NOT going to fail. Instant success (gratification?) is something will power (my humble opinion) must control. Higher brain executive function needed to remind one that long term issues need a long term strategy to absolve.
I do seem to ramble on your blog Abbie x
lol you can come by & ramble any time. ☺
I heard someone on a podcast talking about fear of failure & fear of SUCCESS! I’m familiar with both. I agree with you about setting realistic goals, but you realize that is in complete conflict with my natural (warped) tendencies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then I will 😜
It’s that familiarity with both that limits things….safer not to try kind of thing which, in another way of thinking, is auto failure unrecognised. I do know your natural warped tendencies conflict with my unsound advice….BUT….you say natural tendencies….are you sure that life has not created a set or way of thinking to support the mind as it stands now? I looked back and realised the point where my life changed and where my positive thinking fell apart. I know I have not always thought this way, but fell into it and missed realising that until a very very long time after. The mind outside of executive control is brilliant at sitting and seeing only things that will stop it moving onwards. It’s like some grim comfort zone that doesn’t look grim until the catastrophising starts. It then rescues you by saying things like what’s the point? You’re useless, go on have a drink…blah blah blah….it tries to squash anything that says I’ve had enough of living like this, I’m going to change, I am better than this….I can hear mine laughing right now as it happens!! 😳👀😳
Thank you. I need to read this again. I’m currently going through a small codependent fit. Anxiety is creeping but I’m trying to swap it away. I guess I need to go through it, but it hurts and I’m scared. Thank you for this great post
Thanks for your comment! I hate it when I let the insecurities and fear overtake me! It always helps me to read something recovery-based. I’m grateful that this has helped you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you have a suggestion? A book or a topic I can read ? Thanks
Sometimes I just do a search on WP reader for Codependent, or alanon, or dysfunction.
If you want a real book, Melody Beatty’s books are fantastic for codependence. Let me know what you find! 🙂