…in conclusion…(Part 5)


A little over a year ago, my hubby, our younger son and I went on a vacation to a part of the country that I’d only seen in pictures. The Eastern states were beautiful and the hills and mountains were mind-blowing, to an Indiana girl. 

2 of my favorite guys

We moved here last summer and have been working on acclimating ever since. It’s been a difficult adjustment for many reasons, but things are beginning to fall into place and we are all finding our niches. 
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By the time I stumbled into The Program, I’d endured years of  physical, emotional, and psychological abuse, followed by still more self-destructive behavior. I’d sought acceptance and love, and I’d gone “looking for love in all the wrong places”. When I didin’t find it, I settled for cheap imitations. I felt that I deserved no better treatment than to be used and thrown away, and I acted out in ways that perpetuated the cycle. I felt helpless and hopeless. I became what the Big Book calls “morally bankrupt”, and without the desperation that made me willing to go to any lengths to change the life path I was on, I’m sure I would not have lived to tell my story.  
In the span of my time in recovery, I’ve experienced births and deaths, marriages and divorces, and joys and despair. Many of my worst experiences have been of my own making, but once I started finding the courage to face my demons, one small step at a time, I was able to re-learn how to live. I didn’t grab ahold of all of the principles at once, and thankfully, I didn’t have to.
To anyone contemplating this astounding life of recovery, I suggest : 

1. Make up your mind. If you have any reservations, it’s not likely to work. This is an “all or nothing” deal. “Half-measures” are almost guaranteed to land you right back in the mess you’re trying to get out of. 

2. If you’re going to meetings with a Judicial Scholarship (aka Court Ordered), keep your mind open. The people in the rooms are actually clean and sober, for the most part. The laughter is not an act. They can teach you to enjoy life again! 

3. Go to meetings until you WANT to go. And when you “don’t feel like it”, go anyway. 

4. If you are not willing to go to a Recovery meeting (12-step or otherwise), all is not lost. What is most important is that you find a group of like-minded individuals and begin to get to know them, and let them get to know you, too. The Recovery Community online is an amazing thing. Bloggers (like yours truly) abound, and you just have to find one, and you’ll be able to connect to many more. 

5. If at first you don’t succeed, get a Sponsor/Accountability Partner and follow directions.   🙂 

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9 responses to “…in conclusion…(Part 5)

  1. Great stuff Abbie! I think we all tried to fill the void with all sorts of stuff (outside of the booze of course) – with poor choices, behaviours both dangerous and soul stifling and other things to make us disappear from ourselves.

    Thanks for sharing your experience! I know it will make a difference to someone 🙂

    Blessings
    Paul

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  2. I’ve never been an alcoholic or drug user or had any sorta experience with my own addiction except to food, which yes I think is an addiction too. I went to oa a few times and didn’t like it. but I volunteer now for our local mental health organisation that i’m involved with and I love it. isolating is not good. its important to meet like minded people no matter what your struggling with. xxx

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