I really tied one on last weekend! I don’t even remember how I got home! I was either in bed or the bathroom all day Sunday, and I only made it to work for half a day, Monday! Whew. I can’t wait till Friday night; me & my friends are gonna hit this new place downtown!
Does that sound familiar? I’m positive I’ve said all that before, and didn’t have an inkling that it wasn’t normal. I thought EVERYONE did that.
Then there’s the other side of that coin:
The parent/spouse’s perspective:
“Did you know that “Sam” was out all night, again, last Friday? I heard a car door slam in the driveway, around 4am, so I’m guessing that’s when she got home. Then, on Sunday, she only got out of bed long enough to run to the bathroom. She’s been so moody lately, I almost look forward to when she’s drinking. It’s the only time she’s not a total bitch. I don’t know why Sam can’t just drink like everyone else!”
How about the co-worker/friend’s side:
“Sure, “Joe” likes to party, but doesn’t everyone? I mean, he works hard, what’s wrong with cutting loose on Friday night? The Boss doesn’t seen to mind him missing a few Monday mornings, as long as the work is done the rest of the week. Joe doesn’t drink that much more than I do! Besides, he’s an adult. It’s not my business to tell him how to live. He must’ve been ok; he had a couple of cups of coffee before he drove himself home!”
Now, I’ve heard in hundreds of (12-step) meetings that you’re not an alcoholic unless you say you are. Is that true?
I’m not going to tell you that you are, or you’re not, but I will tell you this:
If it walks like a duck; if it talks like a duck; if it poops through feathers…it’s probably a duck.
That being said, in the alcohol abuser/alcoholics’ mind: If it’s not a problem, it’s not a problem. The thing that keeps most alcoholics/addicts from getting clean and/or sober is the fact that, in their mind, they don’t have to.
You can talk, yell, cry, or ignore someone whose drinking seems to be excessive, in hopes that they will decide to “get it under control”. More often than not, there won’t be any discernible change, regardless of how gently, harshly, or frequently the problem is brought to light.
Not at first.
Sometimes, an alcoholic (or addict) will get a “Judicial Scholarship” requiring them to attend x number of 12-step meetings, or check into a treatment center, in hopes that they might hear something…and occasionally, it works. Sometimes, after a few DUIs, a few mandatory stays in a treatment facility, and/or some jail time, Sobriety begins to become attractive.
More often than not, it hasn’t really sunk in that the person has a problem that they need to solve…Unless and until the alcoholic/addict comes to the conclusion, the belief, DEEP DOWN INSIDE that their lifestyle is just not worth it anymore, you’re wasting your breath.
Posted from my cubicle in the library.