Belonging

I don’t have any idea how this is for non-alcoholic/addicts, but for me, I’ve pretty much spent my entire life trying to find a place where I “fit”.
Sure, there have been miscellaneous moments here & there, where I felt like I belonged (or maybe it was just less apparent that I DIDN’T, I don’t know), but by and large, I’ve overwhelmingly felt like The Ugly Duckling…
So, this evening I went to a meeting with some others in recovery, and the topic was (as far as I could tell) “Belonging”.
There was a person there for their first meeting, and the discussion was a really good one, especially considering how confusing and awkward things are in early sobriety. The unanimous consensus was that we’d all been quite aware of “not fitting in”, until becoming active in our own recovery. The steps, in my experience, helped me to find the commonality of all of the addicts I’ve gotten to know. When I’m in a meeting, I know I’m home. It’s been that way since the first, even when my first meeting was across the ocean and a lot was in a language I don’t speak. (As I write that, it occurs to me that even in meetings here, for english-speaking folks, the language of recovery is a foreign one. But the Spirit of recovery transcends words.)
I took special notice when someone said they’d had 20+ years sober, up until just a few months ago. (Gulp.) There, but for the grace of God, go I.

As I drove home I thought about how something as simple as listening to a family of strangers as they shared their hearts could give me such hope.

I’m where I belong, now: with my man, and my boy, and my furbabies. Everything else is, well, ultimately, temporary, I guess.
Happy Friday, everyone.

Feelings ain’t facts.

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17 responses to “Belonging

    • Sometimes I feel like when I write, I’m in a place where I belong. The blogging community is filled with a lot of understanding and acceptance, in my experience. πŸ™‚ I’m glad you’re here.

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  1. Well, this is a tone away from our previous banter. The demon drink. I know the beast too and can only offer good thoughts in this one. Very honest and open post and, in my opinion, very brave. I think it’s true of many addictions… Easy to pick up, hard to give up and a life recovering. The mind is truly a fiendish thing to control sometimes.

    Best wishes Abbie and stay strong…if you ever need a rant then feel free. X

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      • Oh heck…do not thank me for that…this is a most terrible thing to deal with…especially with mad banter elsewhere that often makes people not see the inner face of the demon. You can connect with me on Facebook if you like. I’m not hard to find, this dinosaur follows me there too or there’s my author page listed under the blog contacts.

        Other than that I shall haunt you in here and keep asking how it’s going…unless it’s a post where mad is being discussed because that’s a time out one… Guess that means yes…I be sticking around 😊

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        • Terrible? Hmm. Maybe a topic for a future post.
          I’ve been in recovery for quite a while. It’s fun once ya get the hang of it. πŸ˜‰
          I’ll probly look ya up on Fb.

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          • Yes do that…love linking up with new people πŸ˜‡ I think it would be a good topic for another post…telling if the journey through it. Loads of people will get it and might be some would traffic to your blog. Those that empathise or have yet to deal with issues or just need to know the journey is not a solo one.

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  2. Know what? I believe every addict involved in every type of addiction can relate to ‘not belonging’. We could never find our niche. In a room full of recovering people I feel more comfortable; however, when I try to find my place in this world and its priorities those feelings come back. A popular contemporary Christian song says, “I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong.” That’s my story and I’m OK with it. Thanks for your great post.

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    • Thanks for the comment! I agree; I can be out doing anything with almost anyone, and yet feel more “part of” when I get to a meeting full of strangers.
      I love that song, and it’s dear to my heart as well. A phenomenal preacher used to talk about how we’re to be pilgrims here. Never getting too comfortable. That really comforts me. Maybe it’s just about the Spirit, and not so much a type of person. πŸ™‚ “Just passin through”

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